Nashville Circle Keeper Gathering Reflection
In October some of the WA-BLOC team traveled to Nashville, TN to participate in The Circle Center’s 9th Annual Circle Keeper Gathering. Last year Anab and Mari attended the gathering and shared reflections through blog posts and newsletter pieces. This time around Lena has put together some thoughts on her experience below!
For the longest time, my experiences in circles have mainly been through the role of a keeper, which meant my heart has held other people and communities as they feel and process. This time around, I could not wait to be HELD myself with basically unlimited time and spaciousness. Four whole days to sit in circle compared to the 2 hour constraints I usually face at school professional development workshops!
My colleagues who were able to participate in this gathering last year shared that the experience was transformative to who they were as keepers, practitioners, and humans. They shared that they learned to truly embody what it means to “sit in your own chair/process.” I wondered what that would mean or look like for me: would I come out of this stronger in my convictions and ability to speak my mind? I wanted to see who I could become!
Walking into the space on the first day was an interesting experience: folks immediately swarmed each other with hugs. Everyone was excited to reconnect and see each other again. It felt like I was at a family reunion, but I did not know anyone there and needed to make my rounds to ask about the family lore. I bet that once I sat in circle, I would understand what I had missed out on last year.
But I left this first day even more confused about everything - my understanding of circle process, my feelings, my responsibility as a participant.
I am used to ‘going scuba’ in circle - starting at the surface of knowing each other, diving deep into the waters of learning each other, then coming back up for air with a re-grounding check-out.
The questions asked and stories shared within the opening rounds dove us headfirst into the deep-end. We were invited to share about our connections to our ancestors, which brought in the weight of responsibility of holding each other’s stories. I began doubting my ability to be accepting and connective with people, because I couldn’t lean into the act of sharing the core stories of who I am the way other folks did.
I practiced being present in the space and tried pushing away judgements that inhibited my willingness to engage in circle. I remembered that I had agency over how deep I could share about myself, while staying authentic and without withdrawing. But I was still unsure of why I wasn’t ready to jump in the way others were.
After reflecting more I realized why.
As a Circle Keeper in schools, my job involves building trust and modeling vulnerability. The children that I work with are my teachers. They have expanded my understanding of what vulnerability, trust, and connection look like. When I am with my students, we deep dive with a game, a song, a dance.
Play is a really effective way to cultivate connection and vulnerability. It asks us to remove judgement from ourselves and others; it nudges us to let go of our fears and lean into humility; it brings awareness to how we authentically value children and their wisdom in our work. The countless times I have leaned on Uno games, ‘Would you Rather,’ pictionary, or freeze dance to channel laughter, conversation (and be properly humbled) with students have been keys to stable relationship building. It is through these moments that I’ve been able to witness how joy creates a gentle opening for us to naturally and slowly move into connection together.
So throughout the gathering, I searched for opportunities to connect through the simplest gestures: a joke cracked in passing, a smile from across the room, picking up random centerpieces during breaks. I found my connectedness through shared laughter, the small fidget I swapped with my seat partner, the tenderness and love people held for their loved ones, and the collective groundedness we had when exploring our connections with the earth (we were instructed to spend time talking to our “plancestors” outside and bring back reflections from our time sitting out in nature). Anab and I taught everyone how to sing and dance to “Something Inside So Strong” by Labi Siffre, one of the WA-BLOC team’s favorite songs; that sparked joy within the collective!
We need to practice, as adults, embodied joy as children do, without waiting on them (and young people) to always initiate it.
Child-centered joy is an experience of joy in its purest form: it’s a joy that is wholehearted, unhinged, believing in all good, deserving of all good, and knows no shame. Children truly show up with the intent to connect with each other while staying true to themselves. I think about how the first set of 4/5th grade Circle Keepers that I trained told me they were so nervous to hold circle for 1st graders, but that they knew playing quack-dilly-oso (a popular handclapping game) would break the ice. I think about how some students taught me hand motions they used in circle to express acknowledgement or relatability to others without taking up space. Kids understand trusting the process of moving authentically. Kids understand that vulnerability needs to happen gradually and not always through questions. Kids are our teachers.
As I continue to move forward in adulthood and tangle myself in the complexities that come with that, it is crucial that I ground myself with the core teachers of goodness and connection: children and childhood. Valuing young people’s knowledge is not just mentioning children in our work, poking at play, or tokenizing their wisdom - it means embracing our silliness, regularly practicing play, receiving each other’s wholeness through the simplest of actions, and authentically being in community with young people. My time in Nashville helped bring me to myself, own my wisdom, and embody the wisdom of children - for that, I am deeply grateful.
— Lena Nguyen
